Fashion Tips
by SUITELIFEFAN
Summary: Never did Zoro ever believe that he would meet a swordsman equivalent of their curly-browed cook, especially one that was a little too eager to give him fashion tips. Cavendish One-Shot. Reviews Appreciated.


**Fashion Tips**

Zoro stared back in apprehension as the blond in front of him's eye started to twitch violently. Feeling an unmistakable killing intent emanating from the person in question, Zoro took a hesitant step back and placed a hand on the hilt of his precious Wado Ichimonji. It took a lot, _a lot_ to scare the first mate of the infamous Strawhat crew, who was not to mention going to one day become the greatest swordsman in the world, but the person in front of him was not only successfully doing so, but was making Zoro flinch with just a single facial expression alone.

Zoro didn't know much about the allies that they had unwittingly gathered on the island of Dressrosa thanks to the comical but effective efforts of their sniper. He had seen some of them fight whilst he was taking down the annoying rock-assimilating soprano bastard, and had to concede that although they probably had a long ways to go before matching up to his and Luffy's strength (even if Zoro said so himself, very non-arrogantly too), there were strong ones amongst them. The new leader of the Happo Navy, for example. The giant from Elbaf with the iron will. The fighting champion with the explosive punches. Even the Tontattas were deceptively strong, with their small size and whatnot. Though Zoro haven't had the chance to meet or learn about all of their new allies, he had, in a rare moment of deep thought and out-of-character-ness, decided to push away his anti-social nature and need for booze, and instead spend some time speaking to some of them lest the crew (God forbid) needed help in the future.

It was the least he could do for his captain, as the first mate. The captain himself was completely incapable of doing this kind of task anyway, with his one-track mind and unyielding quest for victory meat after he successfully defeated the terror of Dressrosa alongside his new doctor friend, who was at that moment probably being helplessly dragged around the island by Zoro's crazy captain.

Of course, with Zoro's persistent need for challenge and internal homing device towards swordsmanship, his first target had been the effeminately dressed Ittoryu swordsman that he had first seen approaching himself, Law and Luffy after the stone bastard had first practically dismantled the island with his punch. He had known upon first seeing him that beneath his overly narcissistic personality lay skill that was quite possibly comparable to his own. Zoro had always been exceptionally good at gauging the abilities of swordsmen upon first meeting them, and the unknown man's aura, as unassuming as he seemed, possibly lay forth the kind of danger that he had encountered when he had faced the zombie of Ryuma, Wano's hero, back in Thriller Bark.

He wasn't looking for a fight, though judging by the crazy man's current body language and rapidly rising temper, he might just get one.

Zoro had very innocently (it was hard for the swordsman to look innocent in the first place, thanks to his rugged and threatening exterior) walked up to the mystery swordsman, all the while trying to remember the man's name, but failing to come up with anything more than "Cabbage", which he remembered Luffy calling him. Strongly believing a man with that kind of long, flowing hair wouldn't be named after a cheap leafy vegetable, he restrained himself from mentioning the word, and instead settled with standing in front of the man's makeshift dinner table and crossing his arms as he waited to be noticed, staring down at the man's overly-fanciful plate of medium rare beef as said man tucked into it with table manners that were too dainty and completely out of place for a possibly lethal swordsman.

The man didn't seem to notice him, and neither did his entourage of approximately thirty swooning women gathered around his table, softly cooing his name and practically begging for his attention. The man not only didn't seem annoyed by their presence (Zoro had been standing there for only one minute and he already wanted to cut them to pieces), but even seemed to silently enjoy the attention, the movements of his knife and fork overly exaggerated as though he was giving a performance out of eating his food.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. The man came off as a little overly-posh for his liking, but he had come for the purpose of gathering information and allies. Clearing his throat, Zoro looked down at the man's food yet again, spotting a conversational opening.

"That looks good."

The blonde's hand froze whilst in the midst of reaching for his wine glass. As he looked up, he gave Zoro a small smile that looked almost condescending. Zoro got the feeling that the man had known that he had been standing there all along, and had just waited to be spoken to. The thought of that being true made him slightly irate.

"You didn't even have to say it for me to understand that, Pirate Hunter Zoro. I know very well that it's perfect, and if you want some tips on how to get yours into as perfect a condition as mine, you might want to start with a little bit of designer dye. No colour clashes as badly with your kind of skin tone as light green. Mine looks gorgeous, does it not? Another perfect part of my perfect self that contributes to my overall perfection, as you so plainly can see."

Zoro stared.

The man smirked patronisingly back at him.

"Huh?"

"Pirate hunter, there's only so much you can do at this point to improve your looks, you know? Admittedly, your body looks quite toned from where I stand, but you already have a nasty scar on your eye, which is clearly a flaw you can't fix. It's too bad you got that on such a prominent place, too. I suppose you could wear an eye patch, but those are so out of fashion in this day and age, so you'd be better off leaving that blemish as it is. The least you could do now is to stop your head from looking like a giant moss ball!"

Zoro felt his eye start to twitch at the unwarranted verbal attack on his hair.

_What the fuck is up with this guy_?

Zoro knew that he had sacrificed his precious booze and sleep time for a specific purpose, but he couldn't possibly let someone insult him and just leave it at that. Not to mention the fact that this person, aside from his inexplicable appeal to women, the single sword strapped to his side and his relative calmness, reminded him a little too much of a certain annoying curly-browed cook that was currently with the other half of the strawhats. Zoro tried to contain his indignation at the man's nonchalant offending statements, but his temper won out in the end.

"I was talking about your food, you psycho! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The thirty-odd ladies gasped dramatically, obviously in disbelief that somebody would have the nerve to swear at their beloved what's-his-name with such coarseness. The man stood slowly and ominously from his seat, his table quickly pulled to the side, cleaned and undressed by a couple of what looked like his personal attendants. As the man raised his head to meet Zoro's eyes, Zoro couldn't help but realise that the man, despite his threatening stance, looked almost bored by their exchange of words.

"I don't blame you for being jealous, pirate hunter, so I will forgive those harsh words. So many have come to me seeking advice, but none have been able to match my beauty. At first I thought that it was because I was giving bad advice, but then I realised that it was because they simply weren't made as perfect as I was, therefore they could never match my level of refinement and handsomeness, no matter how hard they tried. You don't have to feel too bad, pirate hunter. People aren't made perfect unless they're me!"

"What the hell are you talking about, I don't even know who the hell you are!"

And that was how Zoro found himself in an unexpectedly dangerous situation, the crazy man's facial expression having immediately turned unbearably sour as his eye started to twitch, his face turned red and his head started to emit so much steam that it nearly blew his overly-fanciful hat off his head. The man made no indication of reaching for his sword, but judging by the darkened heat (Zoro didn't even think this kind of sensory combination was possible in reality) that was shrouding the air around him, he was about to do something relatively drastic. Zoro tightened his grip on his white blade before speaking cautiously, but with resolution.

"Calm down, whoever you are. I just wanted to ta-what the fuck?!"

Zoro's premonition proved to be right. The man moved so quickly that that Zoro hardly even spotted his hand reaching for the hilt of his sword, the shiniest blade he had ever seen drawn in a split second and thrust in his direction with an alarming level of speed and raw menace. Zoro immediately drew Wado Ichimonji, barely deflecting the wild stab that the deranged man thrust at him. As the man continued with a flurry of alarmingly precise stabs and slashes, Zoro found himself having to counter each one with nearly his full strength, affirming his earlier suspicions that this man really was a better fighter than his exterior suggested. He mentally crossed off "calmness" from the list that he had made earlier about the similarities between this man and his crew's curly-brow.

"Oi! Ass! Hole!"

It was deceptively hard to talk to somebody whilst you're in the middle of a violent sword fight, therefore Zoro had to resort to shouting out detached syllables, sounding very much like a mentally-challenged bullish woodpecker. Even though Zoro was taken aback by the random attack, he couldn't help but be impressed by how the man was somehow keeping his hazardously long golden hair in perfect condition, even as he weaved in and out trying to find an opening to stab him in the chest in his blind rage.

Zoro then slapped himself inwardly for even becoming remotely distracted by the man's _hair_, of all things.

"Calm the fuck DOWN!"

Zoro had no intent to actually fight, let alone hurt anybody during his pursuit for proper allies and information, but the madman was apparently unrelenting in _his_ pursuit to cut off his head. Parrying another blow with the sword in his dominant hand, he reached for the hilt of Sandai Kitetsu with the other and drew it with inhuman strength before swinging it in an arc towards his opponent, feeling the familiar rush of wind as the sharpness of the sword and the strength that its wielder had put into its movement reacted together to create a spinning blade of compressed air that launched itself in the trajectory of the blond asshole.

Zoro saw the surprised look that graced the blond's sharp features. However, instead of simply avoiding the vicious attack like Zoro had expected, the man stood resolutely in the path of the killer air before flinging his own sword outwards with stunning grace, sending another blade of compressed air directly at Zoro's own. The resulting explosion that the two blades caused before they cancelled each other out pushed both swordsmen back a few more feet away from each other whilst simultaneously tearing an unrepairable gash through the ground, cutting so violently and so deeply into the stone that the earth trembled under their feet.

Demon versus demon.

The few nosy observers that remained to watch after their initial clash were finally frightened off by the show of bladed skill. Zoro panted a little whilst grinning despite himself. Aside from the fact that the air was now almost musky with killing intent, he hadn't had this much fun in a battle as when he fought onboard the Thousand Sunny with a certain-

He shook his head. This guy was _way_ too similar to a certain...somebody. The blond hair, the hot-headedness, the need to attack him without reason, the mild (in this guy's case, intense) narcissism...it was honestly freaking Zoro out a little.

Before the man could step forward, Zoro resheathed Kitetsu before raising Ichimonji in the air to request a temporary truce. The man still seemed too angry to care, steadily trodding forward as he himself tried to catch his breath.

"Oi! Wait a damn minute! Why the fuck are you so pissed at me! I don't even know you!"

The man's heated answer was not one that he had expected.

"THAT'S PRECISELY WHY, YOU MORON!"

Two more blades of air met, this time ricocheting off each other before slicing the tops of a few sturdy Dressrosa buildings. Zoro sighed at the waste. He highly doubted that the freshly anointed King Riku would be very happy with them for this little tussle, even if they had placed him back on the throne in the first place.

"I don't fucking understand you!"

"We're both swordsmen! We're both pirates! I sided with Strawhat in the fights against Doflamingo! I even acknowledged you when I first met you! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING!?"

"Huh? Say what, you damned-"

"WHO DOESN'T KNOW THE GREAT CAVENDISH-SAMA OF THE WHITE HORSE, THE PIRATE PRINCE, THE CAPTAIN OF THE BEAUTIFUL PIRATES?! I AM THE MOST POPULAR PIRATE IN THE WORLD, AND YOU'RE NOT DENYING ME MY TITLE!"

Zoro stared.

Cavendish glared.

"HUH?!"

* * *

No one, not to mention the two in question, had any idea how differences were settled in that afternoon, and how half of Dressrosa's downtown was demolished in the blink of an eye, but the start of the evening saw the two swordsmen in a local bar drinking their alcohol of choice (strong sake on Zoro's part, his own imported red wine on Cavendish's) and talking about their time in the country and their plans for the future. It was a remarkable thing, how a good and proper sword fight could relieve tension, even if said tension was brought about by Cavendish's crazily egotistical personality. The pair sat there in comfortable silence for a moment, soaking in the events of the day. Zoro then recalled something that he had noticed during his destructive fight with the person sitting right next to him, and gestured to the weapon that was placed against the counter of the bar.

"That sword of yours...it looks good."

"You have a good eye. That's Durandal, one of the meito. Why, do you want to challenge me for it?"

Zoro smirked.

"I don't. A sword is a swordsman's entire life. I've never fought anybody just for the sake of obtaining their sword before. Well, once, but that guy was already dead. Long story. Besides, I've gotten used to my three blades."

"Hn. Placing a sword between your teeth is quite undignified."

"It works for me."

"Whatever floats your boat. I shouldn't expect more from somebody who doesn't really care about their appearance enough to do something as simple as fixing their pathetic excuse for hair."

Zoro felt his eyebrow twitching as he took a swig from his bottle of sake, mumbling under his breath as he did so. Cavendish didn't even seem to realise that he had said anything remotely offensive, as he merely turned his head questioningly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, it's just that...you remind me of someone."

"Who?"

"He's part of our crew. Heard of Black Leg?"

"Of course. Black Leg Sanji."

Zoro raised his eyebrow in surprise. He wasn't expecting Cavendish to actually be aware of Sanji's existence, especially since he had probably never met him, with half the crew currently sailing on the Thousand Sunny far, far away from Dressrosa. Cavendish seemed to understand Zoro's perplexed look as he shrugged a little grudgingly before turning back to his wine.

"I memorised the names of all the supernovas from the Worst Generation and their crew members so that I can kill them for stealing my popularity."

"...right. He's like...my rival. Anyway, that guy's so much like you that I guess it kind of freaks me out a little."

"How so?"

"For starters, he's always immaculately dressed, though who knows for what reason since we're on a damned pirate ship. He's blond, though with much shorter hair than you. He has a ridiculously bad temper. We're always getting into fights with each other-"

"You fight the man with swords? I understand that he uses a kick-based fighting style. That'd be a massive handicap."

"Not for this guy. He can hold his own against me, using his kicks to block my swords and all that. Don't let him know I told you this, but he really is quite strong."

Cavendish raised an impressed eyebrow.

"Lastly, he always gives me grief about my hair. He even has a nickname for me, which is usually how most of our fights start, now that I think about it."

"What's the nickname?"

"...marimo."

Cavendish instantly broke into peals of uncharacteristic laughter upon hearing Zoro's nickname, slamming his hand furiously onto the bar counter whilst he gripped his sides. His entourage of girls seated a short distance away laughed along with the unheard joke, if just for the sake of agreeing with their beloved Cavendish-sama on something. Zoro felt the twitching in his eye increase as he tried his best to ignore the incessant chuckling coming from the man seated next to him, his pride further hurt by the fact that Cavendish didn't seem like the kind of guy to break his rakish and spry exterior often.

"Oh...oh god, that's a fantastic nickname..."

"Shut up."

"I really want to meet Black Leg now, after you said that. He sounds like quite a stand up guy."

Zoro was about to say something snide about their crew's ero-cook, but bit back his retort before downing his bottle. As much as they fought, and as much as they disagreed on nearly everything, there was a level of unspoken respect that the two rivals had for each other. As much as Zoro hated to admit it, Sanji was an important benchmark in his quest to become stronger, a rival who consistently matched up to him and forced him to train harder in order to better aid Luffy's dream of becoming the Pirate King.

"...he really is."

"I really owe you Strawhats a great debt, you know."

Zoro raised a questioning eyebrow as he turned his head to look at Cavendish, whose faint chuckling was partly obscured by his own curtain of hair.

"How so?"

Cavendish raised his glass to his lips and sipped in a very dapper manner, all evidence of his earlier laughter gone, his entire being once again shrouded in classiness.

"I was one of the people that got turned into toys right before 'God Usopp' saved us all. I have no idea how he did it, but he really rescued us from a life of servitude, and I suppose I really owe him, and by extension your crew, my life in some manner."

Zoro raised his hand to order a fresh bottle of sake.

"Don't worry too much about it. We don't care much about immaterial debts or whatnot. Even if you're still concerned about debt, you did help out with protecting our archaeologist, didn't you?"

Cavendish smirked as he gently stirred his wine by spinning his wrist.

"I did it with the help of some other idiot. That Nico Robin really is something else. I don't know many people who can match my speed when my other personality comes out, and she did it with remarkable ease."

"She's deceptively strong."

"Your captain is, too. Reputation aside, I thought he was loud, obnoxious and annoying. Who knew he had such strength."

Zoro grinned as Cavendish described his captain. He decided to not mention that Cavendish was, in some sense, a pot calling a kettle black.

"For the record, it's quite nice to hear a friend be praised."

"Even beneath that steely, threatening exterior, you really do care about that crew of yours, don't you?"

Zoro gave Cavendish the proudest smile he could muster.

"I do."

Cavendish nodded slowly before sliding gracefully off his seat. Picking Durandal up and strapping it securely to his waist, he turned to walk away, but not before granting his new ally a polite tip of his feather-brimmed hat.

"Even though your captain stole my popularity, I really am glad that I've met you all, Pirate Hunter. I trust that I'll meet you all again at some other part of the New World. Perhaps we can have another friendly duel then."

Zoro smirked.

"How are you so sure that we'll meet again?"

"Call it a hunch. After all, I really do want to meet this man who you believe I remind you of, and tell him that you secretly believe in his strength."

Cavendish was already halfway out the bar before Zoro could throw a retort at him, but not before turning back into the bar and leaving behind one last bit of advice for the Santoryu swordsman.

"I hope you'll have fixed your hair by the next time we meet. Tell Strawhat I said hi, _marimo_."

And with that, he was gone.

Zoro shook his head before turning back to his sake. His captain really made friends with the strangest people. Never would he have ever believed that he would meet a swordsman equivalent of their curly-browed freak of a cook. As he tossed his bottle away and strode out of the bar to look for his captain, he briefly thought about seeing the rest of the crew again and smiled to himself.

It was time to get off this island, meet up with the Thousand Sunny, and show Big Mom what for.

* * *

**Author's Note** \- I'm have mixed feelings with regards to how this one turned out. For future readers, this one shot was written after Chapter 774 of the manga came out, so future events after that point on might vary from what I've written. I've wondered how Zoro and Cavendish would interact upon seeing each other after Cavendish was introduced for the first time, so this story is essentially my little take on how I expect that first and subsequent meeting would go.

I have plans for another one shot, this time involving both Bartolomeo and Cavendish. Thoughts on that would be welcome before I actually start writing.

Reviews Appreciated.

~SUITELIFEFAN


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